gday
Finally relaxing at home for a night, even if it is brief! Today after work, we had a JAKE trivia night. JAKE is the name of the company i work for, and no, my boss isn't called Jake. =) It is a lovely company to work for, even though i am still unsure whether it is exactly what i want to do. The thing i like most about being there is learning new things, and this being the first full time post i've ever held, i have learnt bl**dy heaps! What i have observed, and would like to emulate the most is how my boss interacts with his clients and his staff. So far, his approach to people is the best example of balancing between being people focused - and task focused. Even though he does try to take on too much, and so he isn't as effective as he could be, he has been quick to respond to it, and has now made some changes. Even just his ability to learn from his mistakes would be something to emulate.
However, i wonder how easy it would be to change myself. I came to the realisation today, when i talked to my girlfriend on the phone, that the beliefs we hold within ourselves really do define the reality we live in. In other words, what we believe in is essentially what we live, and if we changed our belief (which is nothing more that mere ideas and concepts in our head) for the better, we'd have a lot more happiness in life. However, changing our beliefs for the better is one of the hardest things to do in life. It is almost like warping our reality to something almost beyond comprehension. But nonetheless, we can and do hold different, and often conflicting beliefs in our own heads. For example, I noticed in life we have proverbs and phrases like:

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
A man's reach should exceed his grasp

Too many cooks spoil the broth
Two heads are better than one

You’re never too old to learn
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks

He who hesitates is lost
Look before you leap

Although each proverb is probably the best advice given a certain set of circumstances, most people stick just to one. It is this stubborn, blind attachment without opening their eyes to the world of possibility, which I find the most unfortunate limiting factor in our lives. It is almost like having lost all passion for experiencing the variety of life, and just believing that there is only "oh, i can never learn, because you can't teach an old dog new tricks". If we could only do away with these existing belief structures and just learn to live in the present, i feel that life would have taken that one tiny positive step forward.
Still, it is very easy to say those things that i have said. Removing these beliefs has been tough for me, and ever since about four years ago, i have been trying to change my beliefs without understanding the importance of them. I’m glad I guess to finally realise this.
Well, I wonder if my team won the trivia. We were coming a close second when i left. I was meant to sabotage my team, but i can't do such a thing. Winning is too important for me. Just kidding. Being a saboteur just doesn’t cut with being ‘laugh and grow fat’.
I missed out on drinking again tonight coz i had to pick up Amelia (lil sis) from her choir. Damn, was late half an hour, but double damn, they were going through Crownies, and Shannon bought along a bottle of Chivas Regal. Wouldn't mind giving that a sip. Anyways, my mum's gone to Malaysia for 6 weeks, and it seems like theres more house work (Doh) and looking after my lil sis. Hmmm i wonder why i can't seem to say no to people who ask for help, even if i know its going to be tough to fit them in. Nevertheless, it seems like i'm enjoying the quiet times of solitude more and more. Am i getting old!?

Today is my sister's bday. I haven't had much money, spent it all on buying the Fushigi Yugi (Mysterious Play) anime DVD box set for my girlfriend. It cost me 290 bucks. Its a beautiful anime, one of the better known shoujo anime out there. My mate at work tells me that chicks always force their boyfriends to watch that. I'm not going to argue with him, coz i still owe him the 290. Well, hopefully my sister likes the cheap double zip tank top i bought for her.
Its been such a busy month august. Fitting in at work is much easier with supportive colleagues. I'm definitely the youngest at work. Even though i'm meant to be having work experience with two other uni students, it feels terribly lonely. Working full time is a change for me, I'm having to constantly learn new things, like handling responsibility for certain parts of a large and very expensive project. Its quite scary and stressful when your part of the project dies when its going to be delivered to the client. I am in charge of the installation set of a particularly large project at work. The install set is what you see when you install programs like Microsoft Office etc, and on the day when we were meant to hand in the first part of the project, my installation set started kicking a fuss. I spent the whole day trying to debug the problem, and my boss eventually got drawn into it as well.
It worked out in the end, but I wonder whether working like this is what i really want to do. I enjoy working with computers, but sitting in front of it 8 hrs a day is far too much radiation therapy for my body. Its hard to be brave and leap into the unknown, but i know i must else i'd never reach my dreams.
I'm absolutely screwed from work, I come home like a zombie. Its like you want to just chill, but you gotta do something, anything coz sitting around will bore you to death. So instead of vegetating in front of the TV and eating chocolate as I usually do, I thought I’d respond to Brent, who’s making me put up a bio. Unfortunately this update isn’t as refreshing as a beer, and too bad i can't drink the Crownies in the new fridge at work. I'd feel so much f***ing better. I’d better sleep so I can start the vicious cycle again. Cheers!